


Complementary Pairing

by LyricalKris



Category: Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-03
Updated: 2021-01-13
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:46:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 26
Words: 19,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27855334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LyricalKris/pseuds/LyricalKris
Summary: Edward was able to avoid interacting with his new next-door neighbor until she had the same idea he did: pair a wine advent calendar with a cheese advent calendar. There was only one of each, so they were just going to have to share. Warning: may contain bad wine and cheese puns and accidental cheer for the holiday season.
Relationships: Edward Cullen/Bella Swan
Comments: 10
Kudos: 27





	1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Okay guys. This whole idea literally occurred to me yesterday and I’m excited about making it work. One update a day for 24 days. Short short chapters.  
Yes, I’m still working on getting all you Trust No One readers off the cliff but trust me… a little fresh blood is invigorating to my writer’s soul.  
This might not work but let’s try it, shall we?  
Not really beta’ed. Thanks to Ms Sunshine1220 All mistakes are mine. Merry holiday seasons to all of you!**

~&~

The Set Up  
“Well, hello there, neighbor.”  
Startled by the sound of a familiar voice, Edward froze—not a smart move in hindsight. Hadn’t he just been grumbling to himself about how damn crowded it was? And here he was, stopping in the middle of a throng of people.   
As he should have expected, someone barreled right into him. Of course, because it wouldn’t occur to people to respect personal space. Someone yelped. Someone else grunted. Yet another person gasped. Edward cringed as he turned around, fully expecting to see a several-person pileup.  
Instead, he saw a handful of people still upright and looking like they’d avoided collision by a hair and his next-door neighbor in a puddle at his feet. He let out a huff as he offered a hand. “You could at least attempt to watch where you’re going,” he groused.  
She’d been about to take his hand, but her eyes narrowed at his words. She climbed to her feet on her own with an indignant expression. “Says the guy who stops in the middle of the aisle.”  
He opened his mouth, about to retort that he wouldn't have stopped if she hadn’t startled him, but caught himself. He pinched the bridge of his nose and blew out a breath. “Sorry,” he said, stepping out of the way of the irritated shoppers. “I’m just not having a great day, and crowds aren’t my favorite thing.” He scowled as he glanced around, his gaze caught by blinking, multicolored lights. “All this holly jolly crap isn’t helping either.”  
Her glare softened, and her lip twitched. “‘Holly jolly crap’? You’re not one of those people who can’t stand Christmas, are you?”  
Edward just sighed. He pointed vaguely in the direction he’d been heading. “I’m going to get what I came for.”  
And just as it had every time she’d given him a jaunty wave and a cheerful hello only to be met by the barest nod of acknowledgement, his neighbor’s smile fell. She ducked her head, readjusting the beanie she wore. “Yeah, okay. Me too.”  
For a heartbeat, he hesitated. Then, he shook his head. This whole situation was awkward enough. It wasn’t like he owed the woman conversation, no matter how many times the woman had tried to initiate it. And in his own defense, she always tried to be neighborly when he was in a hurry. Or work had been hell and he just wanted to get inside. Or he was passive-aggressively angry at her for starting a new project involving hammers and drills at a-little-too-early o’clock.   
Edward went on his way, heading down the aisle he needed. He barely got out of the way of a toddler running at top speed, giggling loudly and his mother hot on his heels. As he recovered from that near miss, another patron passed him by, pushing a cart ahead of her.   
It was her. His neighbor.   
Well, awkward, but not impossible. She didn’t pay him any mind as she strode down the aisle. He followed her. No. No, of course he wasn’t following her. What he needed and what she needed were clearly in the same direction, that was all.   
They walked further into the store. His neighbor didn’t stray off the path he was on. Every once in a while, she cast a glance at him out of the corner of her eye. She seemed just as unsettled as he felt.   
Soon, though, it didn’t matter. Edward had arrived at his destination.   
And his neighbor pulled up a cart right beside him.   
However, when he reached for his first intended purchase—lucky him; it seemed to be the very last one—she reached down to retrieve an item from the floor display. As Edward lifted his first item out of the open refrigerated stand, his neighbor reached to grab the same item.  
“Oh,” she said, seeming startled to find the other end of the box secured by him.  
“Hey.” He frowned.   
She let go, one hand up. “Sorry. You got it first. Damn. And it’s the last one.” She scowled at the case in front of her.  
Edward looked at her, eyebrow arched. “You wanted this?” He lifted the box he held.  
“It’s a cheese advent calendar,” she said, her tone dry. “Could there be a better advent calendar?”  
“Yes. The wine advent calendar.”   
She tilted her head. With a smirk, she hefted the box in her other hand. “You mean this one?”  
Before he could help it, he gave an incredulous laugh, realizing the first item his neighbor had reached for was the case of twenty-four wines made to be opened on a twenty-four day countdown leading up to Christmas. It was also the second item he’d come into the store for.   
“And that’s the last one of those,” he said, shaking his head. “That’s exactly what I was coming in for. I saw them both advertised. Why get one without the other?”  
“That’s exactly what I thought too. How lucky is that?” his neighbor said, her features brightening.  
“Lucky?”  
“Lucky.” She bounced on her feet. The woman really was too cheerful for his own good. “Come on. The answer is in front of our face. What are the odds we’d walk into the same store looking for the same thing? We live next door to each other. We can share.”  
“Share,” he said, dubious.  
She fixed him with a mock serious expression. “It’s the neighborly thing to do.”  
He held her gaze for a few seconds before he broke and ducked his head, laughing. “Sharing advent calendars,” he muttered, wondering what had gotten into him that he was even considering this. He glanced again at her pretty brown eyes and sighed exasperatedly in his head. He’d always been a sucker for big, brown eyes. “Fine. You win, neighbor.”  
She smiled. “Thanks, Edward.”  
His own smile fell. She knew his name. She’d introduced herself when she first moved in, but he’d been in a rush. He hadn’t retained hers. “Er…”  
“Bella.” She offered her hand. “Bella Swan.”  
When he took her hand, a tingle went up his spine. “Wine and cheese,” he said again, chuckling.  
“And if we find the guy who took the last salami advent calendar, it’ll really be a party.”

**A/N: Day 1, Dec. 1, should post tonight! Just...remember I live in California, so “tonight” is PST. LOL!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: It’s still Dec. 1st here so I can still say I got Day 1 done on time!  
> Thank you as always to Mina for the gorgeous banner.

Day 1, Cheddar and Rosé  
There was an open courtyard shared by all the townhouses in their little complex. They’d agreed to meet there.  
Bella arrived first. She took a seat on top of the picnic table, her head tilted up. The wind rifled her hair and cold bit her cheeks. She readjusted her beanie and wrapped her arms tighter around herself as she stared up at the familiar stars.  
Nights were always harder than the daytime. In the light, Bella could almost fool herself. She was collected and confident; spontaneous, cheerful, and bold. Not a lot of people would have greeted the taciturn neighbor who’d gone out of his way to avoid them in the past. Even fewer would have proposed a set up like this. It was the kind of thing daytime Bella did without a second thought.  
Nighttime Bella didn’t have the energy for whatever the hell this was. Socializing was exhausting, and her battery was in the red.   
The sound of a bottle being set on the table made Bella jump. The courtyard had been empty when she stepped out, and she hadn’t heard anyone approach—an unsettling fact for a woman after dark.   
What the hell was she doing again?  
Edward tilted his head, his eyes studying her a beat. “Are you okay?”  
She forced a smile and angled her body toward him. “Fine. Hey, you unveiled it without me. Half the fun of advent calendars is opening the little door.”  
He raised an eyebrow as he sat on the table beside her leaving a good amount of distance, the wine, and her box of cheese between them. “Maybe that’s how you were going to have your fun. I was going to get drunk.”  
Now it was her turn to raise an eyebrow. “Off one half-sized wine?”  
“I was going to see how many of them I could get through.”  
She balked. “I… But… Open more than one?”  
He pressed his lips together, clearly fighting, but his smile won out. “Are you not supposed to do that?”  
“Do you even know what an advent calendar is?”  
The light that had briefly shone in his eyes dimmed, and he looked down at the bottle in his hands. “Well, my plans changed, didn’t they?”  
Bella frowned. She’d said something wrong again, but she didn’t know what.  
After an awkward moment, he cleared his throat. “Anyway. Opening the perforated cardboard wasn’t all that exciting. How about you do the honors with yours?”  
Bella opened the calendar on her lap. She traced a finger along the top row and then stopped at the second. “Found day one.”  
“Thank goodness,” he said, tone dry.  
She resisted the urge to glare at him, not knowing him well enough to understand if he was serious. Instead, she carefully pried open the first window. “Cheddar,” she announced. “Chedda makes everything betta. Oh, and your favorite part.” She pointed to the writing on the inside of the window she’d opened.   
The reason they’d switched—him taking home the wine and her the cheese—was because she’d noticed the cheese calendar promised to deliver not only cheese each day but an equally cheesy joke. “That sounds more like you than me,” he’d said. But the joke was on him, because she had every intention of subjecting him to it anyway.   
“Why didn’t the kid get to go on the field trip to the cheese factory?”  
Edward let out a long-suffering sigh. “Why?”  
“Because he didn’t get the parm-mission slip signed. Ba-dum, tss.”  
“That was terrible.”  
“I know. What, they couldn’t come up with a cheddar joke so they matched?”  
That drew a small chuckle out of him. “Well, speaking of matches, let’s see what we’re pairing our ridiculously small hunk of cheddar with. Here.” He set two wine glasses on the table and poured an equal amount into each of them, easily emptying the bottle. “I’m assured by the box this is a ‘time-honored French rosé.’ Whatever the hell that means.”  
“You know what they say about rosé,” she said, taking her glass as she handed him half the cheese.  
“What do they say about rosé?”  
“A glass of rose can put your mind at cheese.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: You can blame that one on MarieCullen  
> The joke from the advent calendar comes from my advent calendar. Was the cheddar good? Who knows! I left it at my mom’s. And I have no Edward so I have no rosé. Damn.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Did I misspell the title of my fic? I sure did! Thanks to eagle eyed Dora who kindly pointed out the error.

**Day 2, Applewood and Merlot**

“Are you ready for this? You’re going to have to brace yourself for this one.”  
Edward pressed his lips together. “You don’t have to do this. You can keep it to yourself.”  
“I don’t have to do anything I don’t want to do.”  
“And you really want to torture me with bad puns.”  
“I really do.” Bella waved the cheese—labeled simply applewood—at him. “You have to go through the cheese to get to the cheese.”  
“Oh no,” he said, making his voice deadpan. “Please. Don’t deprive me of a half a bite of cheese.”  
For a moment, he thought she looked uncertain, as though his sarcastic remark had thrown her. But the look was gone just as quickly. “Would cheese grow on a tree?”  
He sighed. “No.”  
“No, but an apple-wood.” She waited a beat and then grinned. “Come on. An apple would? That’s fantastic. And it actually matches the cheese this time.”  
Her smug expression amused him more than the joke. “You’re so satisfied with yourself, aren’t you?”  
“Not me. I didn’t write the joke.” She picked up the packet of cheese, beginning to unwrap it. “So what about you? What treasure have you brought me?”  
“A ‘masterfully made merlot.’ Because alliteration is about as fun as cheese puns.” He poured them each a glass.  
“Whoever put together this calendar of yours didn’t put much thought into the timing of the wines,” Bella said with mock gravity.   
“What do you mean?”  
“‘You had me at merlot’ is a third date kind of line. Minimum.”  
Shock went down his spine, making him sit up straighter. “Date?”   
“Whoa.” Bella’s eyebrows arched, her lips quirked up at one corner. “Settle down. Unclench the buttcheeks. It was just a joke, neighbor.”  
Edward blew out a breath, his cheeks warm with embarrassment. He’d run into the situation a time or two in his life when a woman wasn’t on the same page he was. That was the kind of awkward he could do without. “Sorry,” he muttered.  
“Yeah, don’t worry. I know what a date looks like. You do strange things like get to know each other. Answer some basic questions. What do you do for a living? What’s your favorite kind of food? That kind of thing.” She brought the glass to her lips, eyeing him over the rim as she drank. “You know. Not so different from the things neighbors know about each other. Friendly conversation.”  
“Neighbors usually know their favorite foods?”  
“Something like that. You get to know what their favorite thing is at the neighborhood barbeque. Or what their go-to dish is at a potluck.”  
Now he had to laugh. “What neighborhoods did you grow up in? You know that stuff only happens on television.”  
“It doesn’t. People do that.” She fixed him with a look. “Some people think it’s nice to know your neighbors. Helpful even.”  
“Helpful?”  
“You know. In case you need a cup of sugar.”  
“Ah, well, you’d be out of luck whether we were barbeque buddies or not. I don’t think I’ve ever had sugar in my house.”  
Bella blinked, clearly taken aback. “You...don’t have sugar?”  
Edward almost laughed, but he didn’t want her to think he was laughing at her. She wasn’t what he expected; he’d give her that much. “Why would I need sugar?”  
“For...baking?”  
“I don’t bake.”  
She opened her mouth then closed it. “I don’t either.”  
He did laugh at that. She chuckled too. “But you still want to know what I do for a living and what my favorite food is,” he said.  
“For friendly type reasons, yeah.”  
“Mm hmm.” He raised his wine to his lips and took a long drink.   
She huffed after a few beats of silence, getting the idea. “Hey, did the grape scream when it got squished?”  
He blew out a breath and rolled his eyes. “Oh, no.”  
“No. He just let out a little wine.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Many thanks to MarieSCullen and Julie for catching a few things. But this is still unbeta’ed. All mistakes are mine.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Phew! We knew this little experiment was going to go off the rails at some point. Thursday and Friday were horrid for me. But I’m going to get it back on the rails. Hopefully two updates today (remember, PST) and two tomorrow and we’ll be back on track!  
> Remember, all errors are mine.

**Day 3, Red Leicester and Zinfandel**

“I’ve been stood up,” Bella muttered to the stars.   
She’d been sitting on her usual spot, on the picnic table of the little courtyard, for nearly an hour. The night was getting uncomfortably cold, especially without a glass of wine to fortify her. Irritated, she opened the third window of her calendar, digging out the little round of red leicester there. She shoved the whole damn thing in her mouth and chewed aggressively.   
This was exactly the kind of scenario that made her avoid dating apps. Not that these were dates. The point was, she’d listened to all the horror stories as her friends navigated the dating world. People who didn’t show up. Or did show up, but bailed on sight. Or people who disappeared without a trace after one or two good dates.  
Just how awkward would it be to get ghosted by her next door neighbor?   
Bella scoffed to herself. Not all that different than before. If they happened to be outside at the same time, he’d be back to his usual running off without acknowledging her existence.   
“Hey, you’re still here.”   
At the sound of Edward’s voice in the darkness, Bella jumped. She blinked, and as she took him in, she sat up straighter. “Hey, you’re in a suit.” She winced and shook her head hard. “Whoa. Okay. Just, I guess this is the literal definition of stunning. I mean.” Bella rolled her eyes and hit her forehead with the palm of her hand. “For fuck’s sake.”  
He’d ducked his head, looking up at her from beneath his eyelashes. His mouth was pressed into a smile that bordered on a smirk.   
Bella threw a hand in the air, laughing at herself. “You startled me, and it can’t be a shock to you that you look good in a suit.”  
“I’ll admit, I’ve heard that before. I came from work”   
“Yeah, that much is obvious.”  
He shoved his hands in his pockets. “So, are we still doing this?”  
Bella tilted her head and then laughed. “You know, you confuse the hell out of me.”  
“Do I?”  
“Half the time you’re so grumpy and laconic.”  
“Laconic.” He laughed.  
“There’s nothing wrong with being a private person,” Bella said, her tone thoughtful. “You don’t owe me your life story or even a friendly hello just because we’re neighbors. You do you. Just…” She flashed him a grin. “Sometimes, it seems like it’s not total torture for you to be here, but I bet if I ask you what you do for a living that would keep you busy until this time at night, you’d just blow me off like you usually do.”  
Despite the fact she’d done her best to keep her tone teasing, his smile fell. His shoulders slumped, and he sighed. “It’s not torture. I just…” He shook his head, running a hand through his hair. “It’s not you.” He shifted his weight. “And I’m a lawyer. Risk management law.”   
“Jeez.” Bella laughed. “I work in a bookstore.”  
“Wow. I didn’t know bookstores still exist that aren’t Barnes and Nobles.”   
“They really don’t.”  
He blinked and then smiled. “Barnes and Nobles?”  
“Yep. I can get you a sweet deal on a membership if you want.”  
“Hey. Perks.” He waited a beat and then gestured at the house. “So should I get the wine or…”  
“You absolutely should bring me a glass of wine, but it’s only fair you know I ate your half of the cheese.”  
“Ah. How about my joke?”  
She arched her eyebrows. “You hate those jokes.”  
He made a motion that she should get on with it. Realizing she hadn’t looked, she picked the calendar back up and opened the third window again. She scoffed. “What do you call cheese without crackers?”  
“I don’t know, what?”  
“Crackalackin.”   
“Uh. Wow. That’s next level awful.”  
“You mean it’s not gouda-nuff for you?”  
He groaned and turned around. “I’ll be right back with the wine.”  
“I’ll take your curd for it.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: See you soon!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: FAQ - do these calendars exist? A: They do. I have the cheese one. And yes, the jokes I write come with the cheese are the ones that, in fact, came with the cheese. All other jokes come from the interwebs, Alexa, other people, or the dark recesses of my Dad-joke oriented brain.  
> What can I say? I’m a single mom. I gotta bring the dad jokes too. Heh.  
> The wine calendar I’m using is from Costco. Alas, I couldn’t afford that one. I’m just reading it off a pic I found online.

**Day 4 - Jarlsberg and Sangiovese**

“It’s a what?”  
Edward held his glass of wine up to the light. “Sangiovese. It’s Latin for Blood of Jupiter.”  
“Because pretending you drink blood is the height of sophistication,” she said, her nose scrunched and her lips pulled tight. Clearly, the idea of blood drinking didn’t appeal. “I had a vampire phase in my teens, but I’m well over it.”  
“I can drink both of them, if you’d like,” he offered.  
“Wow, what a gentleman.”   
“I do what I can.”  
“Nice try,” she said, breaking the cheese in half as she spoke. “I’ll try anything once. You know, as long as it’s not actually blood.”  
He picked up the second glass, holding it hostage. “Technically, it would serve you right not to get a glass today, seeing as you ate my cheese last night.”  
“Because you left me out here in the bitter cold for hours.”  
“One hour. And it’s not like I could call you.”  
“Whose fault is that?” She took a sip of the wine, her expression one of wide-eyed innocence. “Most of our other neighbors have my number.”  
“Okay, no. No. I call shenanigans.”  
“You call what now?”  
“Shenanigans.” Edward crossed his arms over his chest, narrowing his eyes at her. “Making small talk with your neighbors I’ll buy but exchanging numbers?” He balked. “You gave Mike Newton your number?”  
“Fuck no. I have some sense of self preservation.” Bella shook, having clearly picked up on the creeper vibes their across-the-street neighbor gave off. “Sasha though. She’s all alone with those three little girls. The Copes. Jessica Stanley invited me to her book club so, you know, I needed her number so I could call and let her know something came up at the last minute.”  
“Hah. So you already know something will come up unexpectedly.”  
“I’m ninety-nine percent sure.” She tilted her head, giving him a knowing look. “Something tells me it’s not so much the books that get discussed as it is the gossip and the best martini recipe.”  
“I prefer vampire wine.”  
Bella’s smile was gentle. “Me too.” She took a bite of her cheese and her features twisted. “Ugh. Bleh.”  
“Bleh?”  
“Bleh. Here, this should make up for last night. Take it all.” She pushed the remnants of her cheese toward him. “That’s disgusting.” She gulped down the last of her wine. “I’ve never met a cheese I didn’t like until today.”  
Curious then, Edward took an experimental bite. “Not a favorite,” he said after he’d chewed thoughtfully. “Kind of Swiss-like.”  
“You know, I’ve been trying to make up a joke about Swiss cheese.”  
Edward had to stop himself from rolling his eyes preemptively. “Have you?”  
“Yes, but the punch line has too many holes.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: TRUST ME...that was better than the stupid joke that came with the jalsberg (which I DID NOT like).   
> Here’s the joke, in case you were curious (remember that curiosity killed the cat).  
> What Christmas film stars Bruce Willis?   
> Die Hard Cheese!  
> … Yeah, see, I told you.  
> For what it’s worth, today’s wine was described as, “A Sangiovese that captures the romance of Italy.”  
> Mmmhmmm.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I’ll catch up at some point!

Day 5 - Applewood and Malbec

“Why is it so important to you to know your neighbors?”  
Bella, who had been glaring at the day five joke, looked up at Edward with a furrowed brow. “I really was just giving you a hard time.” She blew out a breath, looking forward. “Sorry. I’m not always great at reading people, and you’re particularly hard to read. I thought that’s what we did—give each other a little shit—but if I’m coming off as pushy, I—“  
“Whoa. Pause.” He huffed. “I didn’t mean it like that. It’s a serious question. Obviously, it’s important to you to get to know your neighbors. Most people don’t go out of their way. And you tried more than once with me. In a benign, mostly non-pushy way. You never knocked on my door or anything.”  
“Only because I haven’t needed a cup of sugar,” she said. She found him oddly easy to talk to despite not being able to get a read on him. Like her subconscious understood he wasn’t annoyed by her even when her rational mind knew that was a distinct possibility.  
“And we all know how that would have gone if you ever did need a cup of sugar.” He smiled and then went on. “But it’s clearly something you make a point of. Knowing your neighbor. I understand you get to know your neighbors accidentally sometimes; go out to dump the trash at the same time and have a conversation—something like that. But you work for it. Hence, it must be important to you for some reason.”  
“That’s a nicely laid out case, counselor.”  
“Hey, you know I’d understand if it’s too personal a question.”  
She shrugged, her heart giving a sharp twist. That old feeling of exhaustion pulled at her, making her shoulders slump just a little. “I’m pretty open when people ask me questions.” She blew out a breath and made an effort to smile. “Long story really short? My life before I came here was a train wreck.” She had to swallow hard. She’d never had this particular conversation at night before, when all her energy had drained away. “I came here for a fresh start. I thought as long as I was rebuilding my life from scratch, I could be whoever I wanted to be. I wanted to be someone who knew her neighbors.”  
Silence fell between them, heavy but not unbearable. Bella searched for a subject change but came up short, the creeping exhaustions slowing her normal thought process.  
“Trying to reinvent yourself and you end up sharing a wall with a grumpy, laconic asshole, huh?”   
“You’re not an asshole. Anyway, you’re going to get a mixed bag in any neighborhood. Better a grumpy loner than Mike the Creeper.”  
“I got that going for me at least.” He passed her a glass of wine. “Here. A ‘dense and plush Malbec’ for you.”  
“Dense doesn’t necessarily sound good.” She broke the cheese and handed him his half. “I regret that I have only applewood to give you.”  
“Again?” He took the cheese, their fingers brushing as he did.  
“Yeah, how crappy is that? On day five already a repeat.”  
“I don’t mind applewood. I like a smoky cheese.”  
“Well, you’re not going to like what comes next,” Bella said with mock gravity.”  
“The joke?”  
“Not as bad as yesterday, but pretty bad.”  
“Bring it.”  
“Have you heard of the cheese killer?”  
He just sighed.  
“If you managed to dodge him he will Brie back.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: That doesn’t even make sense!!!!!!!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I didn’t mean that I didn’t understand yesterday’s joke. The set up just didn’t make any sense to me. Like why was it a cheese killer? You say killer, and I’m expecting the punchline to have to do with that. You could have just gone with a simple, “What did the cheese say as he walked out the door? I’ll brie back!” But noooo. They had to bring killers into the equation. And then you dodge the killer and he just...stops? “Oh, good dodge. I’m going to leave now, but I’ll brie back!”   
> WHAT?  
> ANYWAY.

**Day 6 - Cheddar and Syrah**

For once, it was Edward who found himself sitting at their table, waiting for Bella. She’d switched shifts with someone and was working until later than usual. So, he sat and found himself staring up at the stars. Whenever he approached the table, Bella was always staring at the stars. He wondered why. He wondered what she was thinking.  
And that… That was strange.   
Edward was a busy man. He went home as a formality, but typically kept right on working, researching, planning. There was always more to do, and Edward enjoyed being at the top of his game.   
Alone in the relative darkness without his case files to distract him, Edward found his thoughts returning again and again to Bella. It was only natural given the only reason he was out here in the cold was because he was waiting for her, but that wasn’t the strange part. The strange part was all the questions he suddenly seemed to have about his neighbor. Where had she come from? How had she ended up here? She’d said her life was a trainwreck; what did that mean? If she hadn’t been here for very long, that meant she hadn’t been employed by that Barnes and Noble for very long. How did someone in retail get away with not working nights?  
He was curious about her, and it had been a long, long time since he’d thought this much about anyone who wasn’t a client.  
“Hey, stranger.”  
Edward tore his gaze away from the sky and smiled as Bella approached. She was still dressed for work, apron and all. Walking over, she set a bag and the calendar on the table beside him and climbed up herself.  
“What’s all this?” he said, nodding at the bag.   
“I was working in the cafe today, and I thought you wouldn’t mind something to go with our wine and cheese. Besides, I’m starving. So we have an appetizer—it’s cheddar today. Again. And the joke…” She wrinkled her nose. “They doubled up on the brie jokes now. Do you know the most popular cheese in Great Britain?”  
“I do not.”  
“Brie-tish cheese. Weak.”  
“Very,” he agreed.  
“But I’ll take more cheddar.” She set the small disc of cheese on the table and picked up the bag. “Main course is a stuffed pizza pretzel. And for dessert…” She gasped theatrically. “For dessert, legalized crack.”  
“Legalized crack?” Edward echoed, amused at the giddy expression that had come over her face.  
She’d reached into the bag again and produced a cookie, handling it with reverence. “Salted caramel cookies. They’ll destroy your life; they’re that good.”  
“Life-destroying cookies. Who could say no to that?”  
“Lucky for you, there were two left tonight. I don’t share these. But we can share the pizza pretzel.”  
“Well. I’m not sure how well that pairs with our syrah, but what the hell. I’m in.”  
She raised a fist in the air. “Hip-hip syrah.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: See, you gotta throw in the odd wine pun to make things fresh. Heh.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Okay, I know at least one of you owns this calendar too. I feel like I have to admit that I mixed up the days. My mom sent me pictures and, between the two of us, I got confused. Rofl.  
> But there are repeats of cheeses and, as we’re about to see, there are repeats of JOKES.   
> What?  
> Why?!

**Day 7, Wensleydale and Pinot Noir**

“Oh, look.” Without thinking, Bella reached out and wrapped her arm around Edward’s, giving him a little shake as she pointed across the courtyard with her free hand. “That was magical. Did you see that?”  
“You’re talking about the lights?” he asked.  
But Bella was distracted. She’d realized what she’d done; that she was touching Edward in an intimate way when she didn’t even know how he felt about physical contact. She cleared her throat, carefully unwrapping her arm from around his. He was watching her, his face inscrutable. Their eyes met as she straightened, leaning away from him.   
They were sitting so close. When had that happened?  
“Um.” Bella licked her lips, trying to remember what had happened.  
Right. One of the townhouses across the courtyard had turned on their Christmas lights for the first time. They’d gone all out—lights along the awning, blow ups peeking over the fence, and dancing lights projected across the entire back of the two story townhouse. “The lights are beautiful, but you never catch them just when they go on, you know? Just adds to the experience.”  
Edward hummed but didn’t reply, and she turned to him with a smirk. “Right. I forgot. Holly jolly crap. But come on. Forget the holidays. Just looking at pretty lights. This does nothing for you?”  
He shrugged. “I don’t really understand why anyone would want people to stare at their house. Staring at other people’s houses makes me feel like a creeper. Have you noticed how many people leave their curtains open this time of year?”  
“You mean to show off their trees?”  
“Sure, but they’re also showing off everything else. What they watch on TV. What they’re making in the kitchen in the background. The other day, I was running, and I saw a dad rough-housing with his kids. I’m not supposed to know what’s happening behind the closed doors of the houses I pass.”  
Bella had to laugh. “The dark underbelly of America. Parents playing with their children.” She tilted her head, studying him. “How do you feel about gambling?”  
“Gambling?”  
“I bet I can get you to enjoy Christmas lights.”  
“Hah.” He shook his head, reaching for the wine behind them.  
“Just enjoy. Not get all wide-eyed. Not expecting you to get all merry and bright. I bet I could do it.”  
His face had gone stony. “No,” he said, voice tight.  
Bella’s smile fell. She’d said something wrong—very wrong—and the chill between them was worse than the cold December air. She shivered, pulling her jacket tighter around her. Annoyance vyed with regret as she tried to figure out what his problem was. “Look, whatever you’re thinking—”  
“It’s not you.” He swallowed hard enough for her to hear. “It’s not…” He sighed. “Look. Ask me tomorrow. I’ll tell you tomorrow.” He shook his head again. “It’s not you,” he repeated.  
There was an edge of quiet anguish in his voice, and something in Bella’s head clicked into place. She recognized then that part of him that was like her.   
He wasn’t grumpy; he was wounded.   
Raising her head, she met his eyes and smiled. She held his gaze only briefly, and then gave him space because she knew she would have needed it under the circumstances. She busied herself getting the cheese of the night out. “Oh, this one has cranberries in it. Cheese and fruit. It’s like its own charcuterie tray.” She checked the window and frowned. “And the same joke as day 1. The parm-ission slip joke. Lame.”  
Edward cleared his throat. “Well. I have wine if that helps. A pinot noir.”  
“Oh?” She held up her glass. “Well give me pinot more.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: HAH. Just under the wire for today.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Another one sneaking in just under the wire! And this one has some length.  
> This bodes well for my being able to write more on a regular basis, no?

**Day 8 - Applewood and Tempranillo**

“Whoa.” Bella’s eyes, as he approached, stayed locked on the object in his hand. “You’re telling me it’s barely day eight, I got Applewood cheese for the third damn time, and your wine of the day grew overnight?” She shook her head. “Now I think you tricked me into letting you take home the wine calendar.”  
He gave a huff, amused but far too tired to return her banter. He hefted the heavy wine bottle, a full sized tempranillo, and set it on the table beside her. “The little bottle just wasn’t going to cut it with this story.”  
Bella studied him a beat, and her voice was soft when she spoke. “You don’t have to tell me, you know. I understand.”  
“You understand,” he repeated, derision heavy in his voice.  
He didn’t want to be rude to this woman. He’d been raised to be a gentleman. Grumpy was passable; rude wasn’t.  
But it was going to take everything he had to get through this conversation. His filter was off, and the idea she understood what this time of year felt like to him was ridiculous at best.  
“I understand as much as I need to.” She gave him a small, careful smile. “It’s not that you can;t stand holiday cheer because the merriment of others is toxic to your cold, dead heart.” Her smile turned gentle. “It’s trauma.”  
Edward dropped her gaze, turning his attention to getting the wine opened and poured.   
“You don’t have to tell me,” Bella said again. “I’m not going to give you shit about the Grinch routine. I was teasing before, but some things aren’t funny.”  
Edward raised his glass to his lips and drank heavily. He closed his eyes.  
Truth be told, he didn’t know why he felt the need to tell her any part of his story. He was still curious about her. He had so many questions in his head that were none of his business. And maybe that was why he was going to say what he’d rehearsed in his head all day. Maybe answering this question—though she hadn’t asked—gave him the right to ask all his.  
But he’d never told anyone any of this. He had good friends, but they’d all been around before it had happened. There hadn’t been anyone new since then; at least, no one important.

“It’s not a long story anyway. Not too complicated,” he lied. There were complications, but he wasn’t going to go down that road just then. “My parents had me young; still in their teens. It’s the stereotypical story but a little backward. My mother was the one who got to forget it ever happened while my dad—” He had to stop and swallow. It was incredible how hard these words were to say. “My dad got to juggle school and figuring out how he was going to support a kid before he was old enough to vote.”  
He polished off the rest of his glass, staring straight forward. The alcohol had its intended effect. The ache in his heart dulled around the edges and warmth began to radiate through his bloodstream despite the coldness he felt. “He did a good job. He was… We were close.” He took a deep breath. “And he died. Three years ago now. It was an undiagnosed illness. He was there and then he was gone.”  
“Oh, Edward,” Bella whispered. “I’m so sorry.”  
He nodded with a tight jerk of his head. His eyes stung, and he clenched his jaw, determined to keep in control of himself. “Anyway.” The word came out ragged. He grabbed blindly for the wine and poured himself another glass. “He loved Christmas. We both did.” He rolled his eyes up toward the sky, not really seeing anything. “We had an advent calendar he made himself. We opened it together every year.”  
“And you looked at the lights?” Bella guessed.  
Edward was quiet for a moment, remembering how his father always looked like a child himself, staring up in wonder at the best displays.  
Not unlike Bella last night—her eyes going wide with glee at the simple but beautiful backyard display.  
“We did it all,” he said, wistful now; calmer. “All the—”  
“Holly jolly crap?” she suggested.  
His smile then was small but genuine. “Yeah.”  
She reached over, resting her hand on his knee. He stared at her fingers, not really thinking anything but simply accepting her gesture of comfort. The silence between them was strangely comfortable despite the heaviness of his admission.  
“Hey, so guess what?” she said, breaking the easy silence after almost a full minute.   
“What?”  
“Despite bringing the same cheese back for a third damn time, the joke today was actually amazing.”  
This time he rolled his eyes skyward in a gesture of sarcasm. “Right,” he said, meeting her gaze.  
“No, really. You’re going to love this.” She cleared her throat, sat up straighter, and spoke with a serious tone. “What is Jay-Z’s favorite cheese?”  
He let out his breath in a gust. “Oh no.”  
“Brie-once!”  
He groaned. “That was so bad.”  
“Fine. Fine. Let’s talk about something safe. Like the weather.”  
“The weather?”  
“Yeah. That’s why I brought my thicker sweater today. The weatherman said there might be a bries.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hehehehe.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: My doves, I had a rough day today.  
> I’m thankful for all your lovely feedback. Each one is a bright spot in my day. You don’t know how often a review has made a huge difference in my outlook.

**Day 9 - Some Cheese and Another Merlot**

“You’re here. Finally.” Bella hopped off the top of the table, landing on her feet in front of Edward.  
He arched an eyebrow. “Am I late?”  
“No. That’s not what I meant. Just. Something terrible happened.”  
Bella didn’t quite understand why she was so dramatic when Edward was around. She could be silly when she wanted to be, but it wasn’t something that came naturally to her. What was it about him that brought that side out of her easily even when she was exhausted after a long day of faking it until she made it?  
And why was it so easy to touch him. As he’d walked up to their table, she’d reached out, grabbing his hand as though she had a real tragedy to report, which she didn’t.  
But he didn’t let go.  
“What happened?” he asked, a look on his face as though he wasn’t sure whether or not to take her seriously.  
“This was really an epic fail on my part. And my biggest regret is that it impacts you. If it had only been my mistake.” She sighed, putting a hand to her heart.  
“Spit it out, Swan. I’m a big boy. I can take it.”  
“Well. I found out this calendar? It’s the same five cheeses. Over. And over. And over.”  
“What?” He laughed.  
“It’s my fault. I wasn’t paying attention when we bought it. I always read the box. All the fine print.” She eased her hand from his and put her hands on her hips. “Though, you know, I was a little distracted by my grumpy neighbor.”  
He pointed to his townhouse. “I can leave.”  
“You’re already here. You might as well stay.” She hopped back up on the table and patted the space beside her. “I mean, if they were going to repeat them, why not more of that yummy cranberry cheese? But alas. It’s Red Leicester today. Not horrible, but not cranberry cheese.” She looked at him as he climbed onto the tabletop with her. “So. What do you have for me?”  
“Ironically? It’s another merlot.”  
“No! Bust.”  
“But with wine, it’s not a repeat. It’s a different merlot. Different brand. Different year. Different taste. This one said there was no monkeying around with this merlot from Bulgaria.”  
“Ah.” She nodded sagely. “Pour the merlot. Hold the monkey.”  
He cocked his head, one corner of his mouth curling up. “Hold the monkey?”  
Her cheeks flushed. “Are you twelve?” She bit her bottom lip, lest the giggle threatening came tumbling out. “I’m in charge of the puns here.  
“Speaking of which.” She dug in her pocket for the window she’d torn from the calendar when she was peeking at the day’s cheese. “You’re going to love this one.”  
“Oh, I’ll bet.”  
“Why does cheese look sensible?”  
“Cheese looks sensible?”  
Bella ignored his question. “Because everyone else on the plate is crackers!” She grinned widely.  
He stared. Held her gaze for a beat. Sighed and shook his head.  
“Hey, at least they aren’t wine puns. You know what they say about wine puns.”  
He pursed his lips.  
Bella held out her glass and eyed it meaningfully. “They’re always in pour taste.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Many thanks to moonbeam228 who has the calendar and told me there are only five cheeses. LOL. I wish I could send you my Jarlsberg because BLEH.  
> Remember any mistakes are mine. No one else has looked this over. And, in lieu of the wine calendar I couldn’t buy, I may or may not have tipped some tequila and sweet and sour syrup into my sparkling lemon-lime water.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I would have made it on time if it weren’t for those darn kids!  
> The one kid. My kid. She had some kind of weird sleep episode. Sleepwalking? Possibly.  
> Anyway. Onward.

**Day 10 - Cranberry Chevre and Red Southern Blend**

_Running late. Give me twenty._  
Despite the text Edward had received from Bella, he’d gone out to their table at the normal time. He sat and stared at the stars, as she always did, wondering again what she saw there.  
This was a light show he could appreciate. He liked the stars. He daydreamed of a day when he could own a home out in the country—somewhere he could see all the stars instead of just the smattering that were visible in the middle of the city.   
As usual, it took nothing at all for his thoughts to stray to Bella and the endless litany of questions in his head. Did she know anything about the stars? He reached back to the astronomy class he’d taken in his undergrad studies. For the rest of his life, he would remember how to identify Jupiter and Mars when they were in the night sky. Would bits of trivia like that appeal to Bella? Did she find this light show as awing as twinkling Christmas lights?  
“Hey.”  
Edward let his gaze drop from the heavens, and his eyes went wide. He sat up a little straighter, too startled to stop himself from staring. He let out a strangled laugh that sounded rather like someone had grabbed him by the balls—which wasn’t far from the truth, really. “Wow, Swan. Am I keeping you from a date?”  
Her black jeans hugged her ass. Her red shirt hugged her curves. Her hair was voluminous and shiny. Her lips…  
Well. He needed to stop staring at them.   
“I just came from the date.”  
Something in the pit of Edward’s stomach churned, and his fingers twitched, as though preparing to curl into a fist. “You were on a date?”  
“Don’t act so surprised.” She hopped up on the table, placing a paper bag between them. “You really think it’s so implausible someone would want to go out with me.”  
Her acerbic tone caught his attention, and he snapped out of whatever ludicrous jealousy had washed over him. Concern replaced everything else he’d been feeling. Bella wasn’t supposed to be the grumpy one in their dynamic. “I have eyes and ears for that matter. Of course it’s not hard to imagine someone asking you out. It just caught me off guard. You didn’t mention it. Not that you have to, of course.”  
“It was an impromptu thing. I try to be spontaneous.”  
“Part of the reinvention of Bella Swan?”  
She didn’t look up. She’d been staring at her feet, her posture slumped. She looked so tired, he had the impulse to wrap her up in a blanket and put her to bed. Even her huff of laughter sounded exhausted. “Amazing things happen when you go with the flow. My mother used to tell me that.” Her voice cracked, and she took a shaky breath. “But I was the one cleaning up most of the messes when it didn’t go well. It’s not always going to be a good thing. No one knows that better than I do.”  
His stomach twisted, dread pooling at his core. “Bella. Did something happen?”  
She laughed again—a wry, sad sound—and lifted her head to meet his eyes. “Don’t worry. It wasn’t him. He was nice enough. It was me.” Her voice trembled, and she bit her lip. “I wasn’t ready. I just…” She closed her eyes and shook her head.  
“Hey. It’s okay.” He rested a tentative hand on her knee, wanting to comfort her but not knowing what would make things worse.  
She put her hand over his, entwined their fingers and squeezed. She breathed.  
This time, when she raised her head, her fragile smile was genuine; tired but true. “Sorry. Look, whoever I am—the trainwreck or the person I’m trying to be—it’s all a little blurry around the edges right now. I want to tell you. I will. Just… I don’t have the words right now. Would it be okay if we just have some cheese and wine? Maybe tell a bad joke or three, and I’ll try to make coherent sense tomorrow?”  
“Wine, cheese, and bad jokes are what I’ve been looking forward to all day.” He reached behind them and brought out the wine of the day. “A red southern blend. I don’t know what that means in wine, but I’m game if you are.”  
She snorted. “It’s a wine that doesn’t know what it wants to be. That’s fitting.” She started to rifle through the bag she’d brought. “Well, I have to confess, I peeked at the cheese of the day earlier, and it’s a jarlsberg. I just…” She blew out a breath. “I couldn’t deal with a jarlsberg tonight. Tonight is a goat cheese kind of night.” She drew out tube-shaped cheese and a box of fancy crackers. “Cranberry chevre.”  
“That sounds amazing.”  
“It is. It’s a very dependable cheese.” She handed him a knife so he could spread his cheese on the crackers. “So, though we reject jarlsberg today, the joke must be honored.”  
“Oh, must it?”  
“What cheese rules the world?”  
“You got me.”  
“The Hallouminati.”   
Edward scoffed. “That joke would actually be approaching acceptable if the cheese of the day was in fact a halloumi cheese.”  
Bella sighed and shook her head at him. “You gotta learn to be more cheesy-going.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: See you soon!


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Another one in under the wire!

**Day 11 - Grilled Cheese and Cabernet-Merlot**

Stomach twisting with nerves, Bella left her house clutching a Barnes and Noble bag in one hand and the small round of cheese in the other.   
Once upon a time, she'd been the suffer-in-silence type. She was trying to unlearn that. Bottling up her emotions hadn’t done her any favors. These days, she was going for blunt and transparent. The difficulty she’d faced in her past wasn’t anything to be ashamed of, and anyone who didn’t want to deal with the baggage she brought along didn’t belong in her life.  
But that didn’t make it easy to talk about.   
Her step faltered when she realized he’d beat her to the table. He stood as she approached, and his smile did wonders to soothe her nerves. “Let me guess,” he said. “A book of cheese puns. You really shouldn’t have.”  
“Hah. Keep it up, and I’m going to keep my goodies all to myself.”  
His eyes went wide, almost childlike. “Did you bring more of those cookies from work?”  
“I did, but that’s dessert.” She reached into the bag, pulling everything out. “B&N four-cheese grilled cheese. Tomato basil soup. Comfort food.”  
“Ah. I brought my own version of comfort food.” He grabbed a black bag from where it rested on the table. He pulled out a bottle of Patron and two shot glasses.  
Now, she had to laugh. “Are you kidding? You want us to mix wine and fricken tequila?”  
“You don’t work tomorrow, do you?” He asked with a touch of sass to his tone. “The wine goes with dinner; the tequila goes with dessert. But, of course, don’t feel pressured.”  
“Don’t worry. It takes more than a glass of wine and a shot of tequila to get to me. I can hold my drink.” She clapped her hands together. “Wine, tequila, and a round of advent-cheddar to go in there somewhere.” She hopped up on the table. “Let’s get to it.”  
For a few minutes, conversation was easy—tasting the soup and sandwich, asking about their days.   
Then, fortified by her portion of the cabernet-merlot, Bella started to talk.  
“It’s really not a complicated story,” she said with her eyes on the stars. “I lost my parents too.”  
His breath left him with an, “Oof.”  
“Yeah; it’s a hell of a thing to have in common, right?” She sighed. “It was a car crash. And the cherry on top of the fucked-up sundae? My parents had been divorced since I was a year old. I can count on one hand the number of times they were in the same car.”  
“That’s… Well. That’s not okay.”  
“No. And I wasn’t. It’s been six years for me. I spent around five of those years in a freefall. I had my head on straight before. When they died, I was about to graduate with my MBA. I had a career lined up. I lost them, and I lost everything.” She laughed without humor. “I lost my mind, really. I was reckless. Burned bridges. Alienated friends. Hit rock bottom when I overdosed on some not-so-legal substances.”  
He sucked in a breath, and she offered him a smile. “Don’t worry,” she said. “I’m not an addict. It was just the last in a long line of one-time, stupid ass things I did.  
“Anyway. My dad was the kind who knew all his neighbors. When one of them heard what had become of me, she threw me a lifeline. She had this property out here, and she rented it to me at an incredible price. So, I packed a bag, and here I am.” She sighed. “You know the rest. I’m trying to find better ways to cope. Trying to figure out who I’m supposed to be.”  
Edward hummed. “Your mother was spontaneous, and your father knew all his neighbors.”  
Her heart twisted, sharp pain making her momentarily breathless. She missed her parents. “Pretty obvious, aren’t I?” she asked in a strained voice.  
She was shocked when he pressed his hand against the small of her back—a point of warmth in the cold night. “You’re anything but obvious, Bella.” He hesitated but then scooted closer. He studied her, a question in his eyes, and then put an arm around her.   
For a beat, she tensed. Then, she leaned into him. For the first time in years, the weight on her heart, squeezing her chest, eased. For the first time in years, she didn’t feel alone.   
Some minutes later, they’d decided it was definitely tequila time. She gasped. “Edward Cullen. There are puns on these shot glasses.”  
Hers said, Dogs can't run an MRI but CATSCAN. His said, I hope you find this humerus with a picture of the bone beside the words.   
His smile was wistful as he met her eyes. “My dad was in the medical field. Have I mentioned that he was a huge fan of Dad jokes?”  
“Ah, see? He was a man of good taste.” She raised her shot glass. “I’ll drink to that.”  
They clinked and shot, then chased the tequila with the round of cheddar for dessert.  
“I have a confession to make,” Bella said.  
“What’s that?”  
“I am an addict.”  
He froze.   
“I’m addicted to cheddar cheese.” She caught his eyes, trying to tamp back a smirk. “Don’t worry, though. It’s only mild.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: That was actually the joke of the day. Rofl.  
> I’ll see you guys soon.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Another hard day. Phew. But I’m here! And it’s not midnight yet. Let’s do this

**Day 12 - Some Cheese and Classic Red Blend**

Edward slowed his gait as he approached their table, biting the inside of his cheek to keep his grin under control. It was quite a sight that greeted him. Bella was doing some kind of wiggle dance where she sat on the table. Better than that, she was singing.   
“Oh, it's a yum-yummy world made for sweethearts  
Take a walk with your favorite girl  
It's a sugar date, what if spring is late  
In winter it's a marshmallow world.”   
The way she was staring straight forward, her eyes unfocused, he didn’t think she realized how loudly she was singing. And because it was too good an opportunity to pass up, he joined in.   
“Those are marshmallow clouds being friendly  
In the arms of the evergreen trees.”  
Bella yelped, jumping a mile, and Edward couldn’t hold back his laughter. She had her hand to her heart and everything. Her eyes were comically wide; her cheeks were flushed pink. “You gave me a heart attack,” she gasped.  
“Sorry,” he lied. “But is it really my fault you were in your own little world?” He stepped up to the table and put down the wine he’d brought. He took her hand and pressed it to his chest. HIs eyes on hers, he took a deep breath, as though urging her to match his inhale. “How’s the heart?”  
“Erm.” Her cheeks had tinged red, and she blinked rapidly. “It’s fine. I’m fine.”   
The air between them crackled with energy. Her eyes were hectic as she looked back to him, and his heart responded, picking up a quicker rhythm. He couldn’t remember why he’d thought it was a good idea to touch her like this.  
“Um.” She slipped her hand gently out of his and wrapped her arms around herself. “It’s one of the songs on the playlist at the store. It gets in my head.”  
“Do you do that little dance while you work.”  
“Hah. It was cold, genius. I was trying to keep warm.”  
“Well, I can help with that.” He held the wine glasses between the fingers of one hand and poured with the other. “They say a classic red blend pairs well with a marshmallow world.”  
“Oh, do they?” She eyed him, a curious look on her face. “So, Christmas carols don’t count as holly jolly crap?”  
He pressed his lips together, struck by the realization he hadn’t thought twice before bursting into Christmas merriment just to tease her. And wasn’t that interesting? “I hate Christmas carols,” he said. “And that one was one of the worst kind--all cutesy and chippery.”  
“Oh no, not chippery,” Bella said, her tone dry.  
“What the fuck is a whipped cream day? Awful.” He shrugged. “But, unfortunately for me, I know the song, and it was worth it in this case.” He smirked, waggling his eyebrows at her. “That banshee screech scared away any demons that were lingering from Halloween.”  
“Hah.” The word dripped with derision, but her eyes told him she was amused. “I’m glad the joke is extra cheesy tonight. You deserve to suffer a little.”  
“I’m impervious by now. Do your worst.”  
“What was Marlon Brando’s cheesiest film?” She didn’t wait for him to answer. “The Goudafather.”  
He groaned. “Be more obvious, Advent Calendar.”  
“Yeah. You sit there and suffer and think about what you’ve done.”  
She took a long drink of the wine and sighed, visibly relaxing. “I do like a good red blend.”  
“Of course you do,” Edward said, polishing his glass off. “You work in a bookstore.”  
“What does that have to do with anything.”   
And here he was again, eager to flip the script on her because he wanted to make her laugh.  
Interesting.  
He held her gaze and let his lip curl up at the corner. “People who work in bookstores typically like things that are well red.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: We’re going to have some fun tomorrow.  
> Shout out to AushaPasha for helping me fill in some Barnes and Noble background.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Some of us have never heard Marshmallow World. So I thought to myself, what other Christmas carol gems can I introduce you to? Weirdo ones that Edward (and AushaPasha for that matter) would hate.  
> Personal challenge accepted! Game on.

**Day 13 - Applewood and Coffee**

Bella hummed to herself as she rifled through her vegetable drawer. “Mm. Mushrooms.” She straightened up. “Alexa, play Christmas carols.”   
She got to chopping, singing along with Alexa as her kitchen filled with the scent of onions and garlic. “I want a hippopotamus for Christmas  
I don't think Santa Claus will mind, do you?  
He won't have to use our dirty chimney flue  
Just bring him through the front door  
That's the easy thing to do.”   
Just as she gave her ass a little shimmy, a knock at her door caught her attention. She furrowed her eyebrows. It was a frantic sound. She’d barely had time to take a step before whomever it was knocked again, the sound just as sharp.   
She approached the door like she expected it to explode, getting there as the person knocked for the third time. She pushed onto her tiptoes and peered in the peephole. “Oh.” She opened the door to a disheveled Edward.   
“What the hell were you listening to?” he asked almost before the door was open. “I didn’t think carols could get more annoying, but that one took the cake.”  
Bella took a step back and crossed her arms over her chest. “Alexa, stop.” The music cut off, and Bella fixed Edward with a cool look. She could see he was on edge, and while she was familiar what frayed nerves could do to a person, she wasn’t about to excuse his behavior. “You want to take a deep breath and try that from the top?”  
He rubbed the back of his neck, his expression chagrined. “Sorry.” He took a breath. “I texted you a while ago. I need… I was…” He huffed, eyes pinched.  
“Okay.” She reached out, taking his hand and pulling him into her house. “Hold that thought.” Clearly, he was a man in need of some tender care.  
She led him inside, into her kitchen, and sat him down at her table. She’d brewed a pot of coffee—because if there was anything she liked as much as cheese and wine, it was coffee—before she started cooking. She poured him a cup and told him to drink and talk while she put together a quick vegetable and leftovers soup.   
It took him a few minutes of breathing and sipping before he could compose his thoughts.  
“So, my dad?” He swallowed hard. “He was married when he died.”  
Plot twist. “Oh?” Bella prompted, not sure where there was going.  
“Her name is Esme. She’s… She’s really wonderful. She was really an awesome stepmother. Which was weird, in a way. Or surprising, I guess, is a better word. I was seventeen when they met, eighteen when they married. And she’s right between me and my dad in age. Eight years older than me, eight years younger than my dad. But she’s got that kind of mom vibe.”  
He sighed, running a hand over his eyes. “She was so good for him, Bella. If I was one to believe in soulmates, they were it. He was so, so happy.” He let out a shaky breath. “And they had kids.”  
“Oh, no.” Bella put her spoon down and went to stand behind him, resting a hand on his shoulder.  
He reached back, holding her hand. “I have a brother and sister. Emmett’s… ten? Almost eleven, I think. And Alice. Alice is seven.  
“When my dad died, Esme couldn’t cope. She didn’t cope. She had to be hospitalized.” He swallowed hard again. “She asked me to keep the kids. She begged me.” He shook his head, staring straight forward. “I was trying to keep working, to finish school. And...You know, I was barely coping better than she was. Maybe that makes me—”  
“Hey, no. Don’t say it.” Bella came around to his side, wrapping an arm around him. “There’s no shame in understanding your limits. You didn’t have anything left to give. You don’t have to justify that to anyone, let alone me.”  
He swallowed hard again. “Anyway.” The word came out rough. “Her closest family is in Alaska. CPS shipped the kids off and, of course, Esme followed them when she could. She worked hard to get better for them.”  
Bella thought she could read between the lines.  
He’d been left behind. Maybe part of him was guilty—he could have kept his family together—but part of him might have been angry too.  
No wonder he was out of sorts.  
“What brought this on?” she prompted, stepping away from him long enough to ladle a bowl of soup and set it in front of him.  
“She called me. She wants to visit, to bring the kids.” He ran a hand over his face and met her eyes as she sat down across from him with her own bowl. “Sorry. I don’t know what all this”—he made a vague motion with his hand—”was about. I came over to ask for your help. My dad...he would have wanted them to have what he gave me. But I don’t know anymore. I don’t know what you’re supposed to do with kids at this time of year. I was hoping you had some thoughts.” He grimaced. “You know. Christmassy things to do.”  
“Holly jolly, filled with cheer things?” she suggested in a light tone.  
His lips twitched. “Yeah. You can’t ask the Grinch to bring Christmas cheer.”  
“Oh, I don’t know about that. I remember something about him coming through in the end.” She winked and reached across the table to squeeze his hand. “I’ll help you. Don’t worry.”  
His shoulders slumped in relief. “Thank you.”  
“You’re welcome. Now eat. Soup is the best on cold winter’s days when your not-so-wicked-stepmother calls.” She stood and crossed to the fridge. “And since you’re here now…” She produced the round of Applewood cheese and waved it. “Even soup can use a side dish.”  
“Side dish,” he repeated with a snort. “An amuse bouche, maybe.”  
“Whatever works.” Bella sat down again, holding the window she’d torn from the box. She scoffed and then read it out loud to him. “What did the mouse say when he snatched the cheese without getting caught by the trap?”  
“You bought a cheap piece of garbage; next time try the glue trap?” Edward suggested, his eyes wide and innocent.  
“No. He said, ‘cheddar luck next time.’” Bella grinned.   
Edward blinked and sighed heavily. “I should have brought the wine.”  
“Coffee is almost as good.”  
“Is it?”  
Bella hummed. “Did you know… you should avoid discussing coffee in a sensitive company.”  
He let out a belabored half-sigh, half-groan. “Why?”  
“It can make for a heated and strong debate.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: ooo she hits you with a coffee joke when you least expect it. Bam.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: You guys have no idea how close I was to being able to sit down and write TWO chapters today!   
> We’ll get there.

**Day 14 - Cheesecake and House Wine**

Edward pressed his lips into a thin line, rolling his shoulders. He was in such a weird headspace. On the one hand, his nerves were frayed. He was surrounded by everything he hated about this time of year. Carols played over the loudspeakers; everything was swathed in pine needles, white fluff, and twinkling lights; every store had a display that assured him this was exactly what he was looking for to check off a box on his Christmas list.   
And fathers walked with their families, holding the hands of over-excited children.  
But despite all that, there was a part of him—a big part—that wanted to grin. He was tickled. His irritated psyche didn’t quite know what to do with that.   
Bella was trying so hard. He could see she was one with the spirit of the season. Every few minutes, her feet tripped in a rhythmic step, like she would be shimmying to the music if she were wandering the mall by herself. Every once in a while, he caught a whispered word as she mouthed along to the song. She’d paused several times to admire lights or a snowy display. It was sweet of her to tamp down her awe for his sake. He was charmed, both by her kindness and the hints of the giddiness she was not-quite keeping in check.  
It was remarkable. She'd been through hell, lost even more than he had. How had she kept her joy?   
Always more questions when he was with her, and he found he was thirsty for answers.   
Edward walked with his head down, trying to take in as little as possible. Bella, on the other hand, looked everywhere. She gasped, and he paused enough to look over his shoulder. She wasn’t looking forward, and she was closer than he would have expected. She barreled into him, bouncing off his back and falling into a heap at his feet.  
“Whoa. Hey. Sorry.” He crouched, putting a hand under her elbow as she pushed herself into a sitting position. “Are you okay?”  
“I might live, if I don’t die of embarrassment.” She braced herself on his arm, and they stood together. “I wasn’t watching where I was going. That was my bad.”  
Edward glanced down the arm of the mall and saw an open space a short distance away. There was a huge tree, sparkly decorations, and a cute pop-up village. “Ah.”  
“You know me. A sucker for pretty lights. I know. It’s an unnecessary distraction from the serious business of shopping, but I’m silly and frivolous like that.”  
“In your defense, that argument doesn’t hold nearly as much weight when we’re here shopping for Christmas nonsense.” He rolled his shoulders, trying not to feel as irritated as he was. She was there helping him find decorations and gifts—not that easy so late in the season.   
Neither of them had stepped back when they got to their feet. Surprisingly, that helped. Her nearness helped focus his concentration away from all the things that grated on his nerves. Her expression was one of gentle concern as she looked back at him, and her hand, still lingering near his wrist, sent warmth through him.   
“I have an idea,” she said. Her fingertips skirted along his wrist and she wrapped her fingers around his for a brief squeeze. “Come on. Follow me.”  
Since that was all he’d been doing since they got there—following her from store to store as she tried to piece together a Christmas for his siblings—it was easy to let her lead without question. He was surprised when she opened the door to the Cheesecake Factory.   
Her smile was soft. “What you’re doing? It’s hard. Let me buy you a cheesecake and a glass of wine.” Her smile turned into a grin. “I promise you’re going to like the cheesecake better than the jarlsberg that awaits us at home.”  
He pursed his lips, fighting a smile. “That’s not how advent calendars work, Swan.”  
She arched an eyebrow in challenge and gestured that he should get a move on into the store. “Did you hear about the Cheesecake Factory across town? It exploded.”  
“Wait, what?”  
“Yeah.” She nodded, her face serious. “All that was left was de-brie.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Mmmmm. Cheesecake.   
> Gosh...that sounds suspiciously close to a date. *whistles*


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Nine days! Nine days left!

**Day 15 - Red Leicester and Bubbly**

Over cheesecake the day before, one thing had led to another, and Bella found herself waking up alone in Edward’s house.  
She blinked in the low light, disoriented, trying to remember what the hell had happened.   
“Oh, wow.”  
Edward’s soft exclamation had the effect of clearing the cobwebs from her mind. She pushed herself up into a sitting position from where she’d fallen asleep on the floor. Blinking, she glanced up at him. “We’ve got to stop ending up like this,” she muttered, finding herself in a heap by his feet for the third time in the last fifteen days.   
She hopped up to her feet and watched him as he turned in a slow circle. He didn’t look pleased, but that was to be expected given the circumstances. “So what do you think?” Bella asked when he didn’t speak for a full minute. “Are you regretting giving me the keys to your place?”  
He wanted to have his house decorated for the kids; that was what their shopping spree had been about. But at the end of the day, he hadn’t been able to fathom putting it all together himself. That was how Bella ended up in his house in a decorating frenzy while he was at work. Luckily, she’d gotten the meat and potatoes of it done. She’d just been working on some more delicate touches, doing a little crafting with some trimmed holly branches, when she’d taken her impromptu nap.  
Edward swallowed hard. She could tell he had to work for the smile he put on as he pointed at one wall. “Did you…Did you make the Stranger Things Christmas lights wall?”  
“You said Emmett liked that show, right?” She pointed to the top of the tree. “And we got the weeping angel from Doctor Who for our tree topper for Alice, though I still think a seven-year-old should be terrified of those things. What do I know?”  
She’d tried to throw pop culture into her decorating wherever she could, hoping it would blunt the pain she knew it was going to cause Edward. It was something different to concentrate on; if it was a not-quite-traditional Christmas, it would be less likely to trigger memories of the holidays with his father.  
He swallowed hard. Another half-minute passed before he stepped to her and wrapped his arms around her. “Thank you,” he said, voice gravelly. He squeezed her tightly.  
She squeezed him back. “Any time. It was fun.” She took a step back. “Now, come on. I ordered a pizza, but we can get into the bubbly while we wait.”  
He put his hands on his hips. “You peeked.”  
“You always do, so I figured fair play.” They sat on the couch. “We have a red leicester today, with an appropriate joke.”  
“Appropriate?”  
“Yeah. While I was snoozing on your floor, I had a dream. I dreamt some cheese was chasing me.”  
“Did you?”  
“Yep. I think I’m having Hallouminations.”  
He blinked and shook his head. “Are you telling me this cheese calendar that has only five cheeses has had two Halloumi jokes when I don’t even know anyone who’s had halloumi cheese?”  
“Do you know what you call cheese that isn’t yours?”  
He closed his eyes and groaned. “No. No, don’t do it.”  
“It’s nacho cheese.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: And in honor of the pizza, here’s an extra joke for you.   
> What kind of cheese do you find around castles?   
> Moats-arella.  
> A tee hee.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: My child almost killed me today. Work also almost killed me today. Let’s see if this chapter makes any sense.

**Day 16 - Cheddar and Sauvignon Blanc**

Edward took a deep breath, trying to shake off the exhaustion threatening to stoop his shoulders. Bella had suggested a Christmas movie watch. The decorations hadn’t gone over as bad as he’d expected. Waking up to his festive, twinkling house made his heart ache, but it was a tolerable pain. This, though… It felt like a monumental ask.  
“Trust me,” Bella said. “The kids are going to want you to watch something like Elf. They’re going to be here tomorrow. You need a buffer to ease you into it.”  
“Fine,” he grumbled. “But I reserve the right to make snarky comments.”  
“Wouldn’t have it any other way.”  
So, for the second time in as many nights, Edward came home to a brightly lit house. This time, Goldilocks wasn’t asleep on her floor but flitting around his kitchen, caroling to herself. She settled him down in his living room with a bowl of fragrant, comforting pasta, their glass of Sauvignon Blanc each and the round of cheddar shaved over their pasta in lieu of parmesan.   
Then, it was time. Edward tried to brace himself. Memories assaulted him, each of them making the lump in his throat thicker. He remembered being young, sitting on his father’s lap, the two of them giggling together as they watched the old claymation movies that came on every year.   
Edward furrowed his brow when the old 20th Century Fox fanfare came on. He cocked his head when the movie started with the sound of a plane landing. “Is this…”  
Sure enough, Bruce Willis appeared on screen. Edward choked on a laugh. “Die Hard?”  
“Classic Christmas movie,” Bella said, grinning broadly. “Worst Christmas party ever, and the best Christmas line ever on a dead body in the same movie.”  
“Now I have a machine gun. Ho-ho-ho.” Edward grinned back, almost excited.  
“See? Very festive.”  
Her pasta was delicious. The wine took the edge off his nerves. The company…  
He was charmed. She chattered during the movie, and that should have annoyed him. It didn’t. She had a thing or two to say about John McClane being intimidated by his successful wife. “This woman is surrounded by incompetent assholes. Her boss? Gets himself murdered for sassing the terrorist with the huge gun. Her coworker? Can’t take a hint and gets himself murdered for sassing the terrorist with the huge gun. Estranged husband doesn’t think there are criminals in Los Angeles he can catch so his wife can rule like a boss, and he sasses the terrorist with the huge gun.”  
“Yeah, but he’s got the killer lines.”  
“Well, hell. Yippi-ki-yay.” Bella clinked her glass against his.   
It was a cozy scene. She’d had the fire going when he came home, filling the air with heat and the crackle-pop of burning wood. The pasta was delicious and comforting. He was warm, comforted, and happy.  
And charmed.  
Charmed by this woman who had gone above and beyond to comfort him; bounced onto the edge of her seat, yelling at the TV when John McClane did something ridiculous; charmed by how alive she was though she’d lost as much, if not more, than him.  
As the movie ended, Edward found, as he turned his head to her, that she was so close. Her side pressed up against his, and he realized he wasn’t surprised. Everything about her drew him in, closer. His eyes locked with hers, and he wondered how it was possible he’d ever tried to avoid this woman. She had a gravitational pull he couldn’t ignore.  
She licked her lips and his eyes went there, watching the pink of her tongue sweep across. He heard the stutter of her breath.  
“So, uh…” She licked her lips again, and he was riveted. “You work for a big, fancy company don’t you?”  
“Mmhmm,” he said distractedly.  
“You have a Christmas party?”  
“Mmhmm,” he hummed again.   
“Edward?”  
He tore his eyes away from her mouth and looked at her.  
“Do you know how to make a mouse smile?”  
He blinked. “What?”  
“Say chee—”  
And that was one terrible joke he wasn’t going to let her finish.  
He tilted his head down and kissed her. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Besos, mi amors.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Oh, good. I was half out of my mind with the sleepies when I wrote the chapter last night. I’m glad it seemed to make sense.

**Day 17 - Everyone misses a day!**

This was such a bad idea.  
Here was the thing. Bella had spent a good part of the night before making out with Edward Cullen. It was a thorough kind of a make out. The kind where she ended up with her legs thrown over his lap and maybe, possibly, something akin to what her junior high sex-ed text book had called ‘heavy petting’ had gone on. It had been quite thorough.  
Bella was a strong, independent woman. A little lost, yes, but she could handle her business for the most part. But Edward Cullen and his surprise kiss had thrown her for a loop. It was exactly the kind of situation that called for a boozy lunch with her girlfriends while they dissected every moment prior to and following the kiss.  
But Bella was friendless. In a moment of desperation, she had called Jessica Stanley of all people.   
Jessica Stanley of the neighborhood book club fame.   
Jessica Stanley who Bella had pegged as the neighborhood gossip within a minute and a half of their first meeting.   
It was interesting to tiptoe around Edward’s identity. If she knew it was him, Bella didn’t trust Jessica not to make up some excuse to go over and drill him for his side of the story. Telling Jessica it was him was just asking for an awkward scene.  
“I don’t get how the kiss was a surprise to you,” Jessica said, brows furrowed.   
“I mean, it wasn’t even one of those cheesy, Christmas romances that are everywhere,” Bella said. “We were watching Die Hard. Hey, maybe he’s bisexual. Young Bruce Willis in a tank top with a big gun got him all revved up.”  
“What? No. I mean. You’ve been on sixteen dates and you’re barely at the first kiss?”  
Now it was Bella’s turn to furrow her brows. “What? Jess, I told you. They weren’t dates.”  
Jessica snorted. “Oh, they so were.Wine and cheese alone is a date. You mix up the dinners, him giving you a key to his place… Honey. It’s not just dating, that is a relationship.”  
Bella huffed, exasperated. “It isn’t. I’m trying to tell you—”  
The doorbell interrupted her. Bella pushed off the seat, glad she had a moment to arrange her thoughts. She could understand what the arrangement looked like, especially to a woman like Jess who seemed like the type to believe men and women couldn’t be friends. But these weren’t dates. Bella had just been on a date some days ago, and she’d been a disaster--way too stuck in her own head to even try to get comfortable. Edward had his prickly moments, but he was surprisingly easy to talk to in spite of that.   
Bella opened the door and let out a little yelp.   
Speak of the devil… Edward stood on her stoop with a wicked grin on his handsome face. “Hey, beautiful,” he murmured, reaching out to put his hands on her waist. He ducked his head, and Bella only barely had time to react as her brain caught up to what was happening.  
“Hey, Edward,” she said too loudly, taking a step to the side. “Long time no see.”  
Sure enough, as she’d predicted, Jessica materialized at her side. Of course, she’d be nosy enough to want to know who it was. “Hi, Edward. Fancy meeting you here.” Jessica gave a light laugh and leaned against the wall, striking a hint of a pose. Bella had to struggle not to roll her eyes.   
“Uh… oh. Hi.” Edward cleared his throat, rubbing the back of his neck. “Hi, Jessica. I, uh… I was just over here to, er… To… see if I could borrow a cup of sugar.” He blinked, his eyes narrowed as though he were trying not to wince.  
“Sugar?” Jessica asked. “What do you need that much sugar for?”  
“Err. Baking?”  
“You bake?” Jessica sounded delighted. She gave his chest a playful little shove. “I didn’t know that.” She tilted her head. “Are you cooking for someone in particular.”  
“I… Um…”  
“You have family coming in from out of town, right?” Bella asked, throwing Edward a lifeline.  
“Oh. Yes. Yeah. My siblings are much younger than I am,” he said to Jessica. “They would enjoy cookies. Of course.”  
“Of course,” Jessica echoed, her eyes darting between the two of them.   
“Yeah, I have sugar. Come in. I’ll get you a cup,” Bella said, opening the door wider. “Hey. Do you know what you call sugar-free breath mints from California?”  
“Huh?” Jessica said eloquently.   
“Sacramentos.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Phew. I think they pulled that off. And now, Eddo has sugar in the house! Good for him.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This space for rent.

**Day 18 - Wensleydale and Some Unmentioned Wine**

Edward had escaped to his front porch.   
It was incredible to have his family back. The kids were hilarious. Emmett had missed the fact preteens were supposed to be practicing how to be surly. He was a jolly troublemaker who knew a few too many sex jokes to make his mother comfortable. Alice, he’d joked, was actually one of Santa’s elves. She was tiny and vivacious. He’d spoken with them on video chat many times over the years, but hadn’t realized just how much he missed them until they were there.   
But it was a lot. Wrapping presents. Touching up decorations. Making batch after batch of Christmas treats, and now, as Bella had predicted, Elf. Talk about too much Christmas cheer. He needed a minute out in the cold before he could take anymore of it.  
A hand on his shoulder interrupted Edward’s frazzled thoughts. He raised his head as his stepmother sat beside him. She offered him a smile, and he smiled back. “Are you okay?” she asked, tone soft and concerned.  
Edward blew out a long breath, studying her face. He didn’t want to be a burden to this woman, but if there was anyone else in the world who understood exactly what he’d lost. “Christmas and I haven’t really gotten along since Dad. I mean, it’s been great seeing the kids like this. I love the fact Christmas still brings them joy. It’s just…”  
“It’s almost worse.” She took a shaky breath. “He should be here to see it.” She let a few moments of heavy silence pass between them before she spoke softly again. “I hate to think of you alone for that, Edward.”  
As if on cue, the door of Bella’s townhouse opened, and she stepped out. He smiled before he realized what he was doing. Suddenly, it was easier to sit up a little straighter, to breathe a little deeper. A handful of new, sweet memories drew him away from his melancholy. It was the second night after their first kiss. He could still remember it perfectly--the tiny gasp she’d given when she realized what was happening; the way her body froze and then melted.  
“I haven’t been alone,” he said to Esme, distracted. Bella caught his eyes, and her cheeks flushed the prettiest pink. “Not this year.”  
He had to press a hand to his mouth to keep from laughing out loud. She’d told him Barnes and Noble encouraged their workers to wear ugly Christmas sweaters at this time of year. She was wearing the sweater Christmas had thrown up on--sleeves of tinsel and garland, bows and ribbons scattered here and there, horribly bright Christmas colors splashed in haphazard shapes.  
And to top it all off, she wore a headband with a huge, Christmas bow on it.   
She winked at him but hurried on, clearly running late for work.  
“Edward?”   
Edward snapped his head to Esme, blinking. “Sorry, what?”  
Esme’s eyes had gone bright, and he could see she was only barely suppressing a smile. “Is there something going on between you and your neighbor?”  
“Now that is a very good question,” he murmured, turning back to watch Bella’s car speed off.  
They’d talked the night before, in between wine-spiced kisses. She was, as she’d pointed out after her date some days previously, lost and uncertain about a lot in her life, not the least of which was whether she was capable of giving the mental energy to a relationship. And Edward had his share of baggage, of course. He hadn’t cultivated any new relationships of any kind after his father died.   
All they really knew was that they liked kissing each other. It felt good. It felt right, and neither of them wanted to stop. They had plans to meet again after Esme and the kids had gone back to their hotel for the evening. It was a Wensleydale night, and he had every intention to lick the remnants of her half off her tongue.   
Edward told Esme a little of what had been happening between the two of them.  
“So I have her to thank for all the horrible jokes Emmett won’t stop repeating?” she asked with a laugh.   
“Don’t ever tell her I’ve been repeating her horrible jokes. Anyway, it’s better cheesy cheese jokes than more sex jokes, don’t you think?”  
Esme covered her face with her hands. “I always have my hands full with that one.” She shook her head. “You can bring her over, you know. Obviously, it’s your own house. I’m saying it wouldn’t offend me.”  
“I don’t know about that.”  
Esme furrowed her brow in clear concern.  
Edward’s lip twitched. “You think the jokes I’ve repeated are bad? I’m saving you fro the truly awful ones. I almost banished her from the house for the last one.”  
“How bad can a cheese joke be?” Esme asked, her tone tinged with amusement.  
“You asked for it.” Edward took a deep breath and fixed a serious expression on his face. “I was walking through the supermarket the other day, and someone threw a block of aged cheddar at my head.”  
“Well, that’s rude,” Esme said, playing along.  
Edward nodded sagely. “I shouted back at him, ‘wow, that’s mature.’” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I am SLEEPY. Mwah.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Sorry about the hiccup, duckies. I do eligibility for food stamps and MediCal (Medicare), and it’s ROUGH out there lately. Couple that with my kid who is in “Sleep? What’s that?” phase…   
> Yeah, what is rational thought?

**Day 19 - Candy Canes and Hot Chocolate**

“Okay.” Bella looped her arm through Edward’s, pulling him closer as they walked. “Take a deep breath; gird your loins. You’re going to hate this.”  
“Gird your what?” Emmett, whom Bella hadn’t realized was listening, started cackling. “What do you want to do with Edward’s loins?” He laughed harder.  
Bella flushed and Esme sighed. “Emmett, for heaven’s sake. That’s not what that means.”  
“Hey, Emmett,” Bella said, cutting the boy off because he was about to argue with his mother. “You know what’s different about the alphabet at Christmastime?”  
Emmett looked over his shoulder at her, already grinning. They’d been having a Christmas joke-off since they met. “What?”  
“It has noel.”  
Emmett cackled. “I don’t get it,” Alice whined.  
As Esme and Emmett explained the joke, Bella hung back a little. They’d had to park down the street from their destination—a cul de sac where every home was done to the nth degree. The music and noise from the crowds of people like them who were there to gawk could be easily heard from the street over.   
The neighborhood was an affluent one, and so the homes were all set on large lots. Every set up was interactive, set up with lighted paths so the guests could wander along in an orderly fashion, taking in every inflatable, every flashing light.  
“Jesus Christ,” Edward muttered under his breath, his body tense.  
Bella rubbed his back. “You’re not wrong.” She craned her neck, looking around. “I see at least three nativity scenes.”  
He huffed out a laugh and shook his head.   
There were several live Santas—one in a treehouse, waving and ho-ho-hoing as bubble “snow” rained down. Another sat at the head of a well-lit driveway paved with over-sized snowflakes. That one gave out colorful candy canes and posed for pictures. Another house had a few elves busily handing out hot chocolate and apple cider.   
“Hey, Bella,” Emmett called. “D’ya know what Santa uses to clean his sleigh? Santa-tizer.”  
“Badum, dum.” Bella said.  
When the kids stopped to enjoy an intense light show—a home decked out from the topmost shingle to the mailbox with lights that flashed and twinkled in time with the music—Bella took the opportunity to pull Edward away from the main crowd. He was doing his best to keep the smile on his face, but she could see the exhaustion setting in.   
She understood that exhaustion only too well.   
So she led him away from the biggest, loudest home to a quiet house across the street. This one had a sign that said it was a “Yum, yummy world made for sweethearts.” The house was darker than the others. The lights were minimal, supporting a more romantic feel. The walkways were lit in white, overhanging trees sparkling with glittery snowflakes. There were several stations set up on the winding path—this neighborhood was rife with Instagramable scenes. There was a life size gingerbread house at one end, a Jack Skellington in his Santa suit cuddling close with Sally at the other.   
They strolled without stopping until they reached a gazebo beset in twinkle lights and fragrant, real-pine wreaths with giant red bows. They were alone, so Bella was able to spin in a slow circle, enjoying the view of the lawn and the house in this romantic winter wonderland.   
Edward’s chuckle drew her attention, and she turned to see he was staring upward with a bemused smile on his face. She followed his gaze and grinned when she saw an entire ball made of mistletoe and interspersed bows and lights.  
“In the spirit of the season,” Edward said quietly, pulling her to him.  
“This is what it takes to find your Christmas spirit?” she teased, hands at his waist.  
He crooked a finger beneath her chin, tilting her head up, his eyes tender in the soft light. He cupped her cheek with his other hand. “Yeah,” he said, the word barely more than a whisper. “This is what it takes.”  
And he kissed her under the mistletoe. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Mwah. Back soon.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Folks, the last few days have been horrid. Sorry for the delay. Let’s get back on track!  
> Merry holidays to those who celebrate. Peace and joy to all of you, regardless of the date. There might be another update tonight… Let’s see how the wee one feels about bedtime.

**Day 20 - Cheddar and Cabernet**

Bella had told him he had to like a Christmas carol if it was about him. Then, she’d started singing You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch. He had to admit, he was enjoying this particular carol.  
Though… That might have had something to do with the fact Bella was on his lap, her face a scant inch from his so when she sang, he could breathe in the cabernet they’d drunk. She stroked the pad of her finger along the line of his nose, and he was smitten.  
“You're a vile one, Mr. Grinch,  
You're a nasty wasty skunk,  
Your heart is full of unwashed socks, your soul is full of gunk, Mr. Grinch,  
The three words that best describe you are as follows, and I quote,  
"Stink, stank, stunk"!”  
He chuckled at the way she screwed up her nose in disgust. She traced the shape of his lips as she sang to him.   
“You're a rotter, Mr. Grinch,  
You're the king of sinful sots,  
Your heart's a dead tomato splotched with moldy purple spots, Mr. Grinch.”   
She tapped the corner of his mouth. “You’re too happy for someone who’s supposed to be a miserable bastard.” She tapped his mouth. “We’re going to have to reset you back to factory settings.”  
He kissed the tip of her finger. “How do you figure you’re going to do that?”  
She pursed her lips and leaned in. He tilted his head to meet her, but she dodged his kiss, leaning past him to pick something up from the edge of the outdoor sofa they were currently sprawled on. She straightened up, and he recognized the window they’d taken their round of cheddar cheese out of. He groaned. “No. No. Don’t do it.”  
“What’s the richest cheese in the world?” Bella read off the card.  
Edward just banged his head against the back of the sofa.  
“Paris Stilton.”  
Edward blinked. “What? No. No. I reject that. That’s not even bad. It’s just dumb. For one thing, Paris Stilton… I mean. Hilton isn’t even that rich. That one wasn’t up to your standards at all.”  
Her grin broadened. “I can do better.”  
“You mean worse? Please don’t.”  
She wagged a finger in his face. “Don’t pretend you don’t   
like it. This is the highlight of your whole day.”  
He smirked. “Well. Yes, lately, it has been, but not because of the cheese jokes.”  
“I mixed it up a little yesterday with Santa jokes.”  
“You did. You made a friend for life in Emmett.” He laughed, remembering how both the children had babbled non-stop about Bella on the way to the airport that evening.   
“And if you disown me, you’re going to have to disown them too.” She nodded with mock solemnity. “Because your sister taught me the best-worst Christmas carol. You’re going to love it. Do you know how Eeyore celebrates Christmas?”  
“Eeyore?”   
“Eeyore likes to deck the halls with melancholy.”  
Edward laughed, cupping her cheek tenderly. He studied her face a moment and swallowed hard. “Bella?”  
“Hm?” She settled back down on his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck.   
“That office Christmas party I told you about? Will you go with me? Christmas is easier to handle with you there.”  
She tilted her head, her expression closed like he’d never seen it before. He wondered if it was too much or too soon.  
But she smiled. “I guess that depends.”  
“On?”  
“If you can tell me where is the cheese grater?”  
“The…”  
“Some would say England. Some would say France. Really, it’s your preference.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I think his preference is for her to say yes. Just a thought.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Some of us didn’t get the cheese grater joke. It was a clumsy set up, I’ll admit.  
> Where is the cheese grater (thing that grates cheese)?   
> Where is the cheese greater (better than anywhere else)? Some say England. Some say France. Julie says Wisconsin, but it’s all preference. Hehe.

**Day 21 - All the Cheese and All the Wine**

A rich chuckle made Bella jump. She’d been in her own little world, but spun around, embarrassed to realize she’d been spaced out at one particular table. Luckily, it was only Edward behind her. Stll, she flushed red and pointed to the table. “There’s...a whole table of cheese. Different cheese. More than five kinds.” She sighed. “I love cheese. It’s impossible to decide.”  
“That is a conundrum.” He stepped to her side, wrapping an arm around her. “Come on. You need some wine to go with that cheese.  
She gave a put-upon sigh though she did wrap her free arm around him. “Really, Edward? You messed up the world’s easiest cheese joke. It’s ‘Do you want some cheese to go with that whine.’”  
“You have plenty of cheese to go with that whine.” He handed her a glass of red.  
“Oh, I see how it is.” They made their way back to their table. “You're allowed to make horrible cheese jokes and I’m not, huh?” She set her cheese and wine down.  
“You’re a grown woman. I’ve never stopped you from making horrible cheese jokes. I do, however, reserve the right to mock you relentlessly.”  
“So rude.” She scrunched her nose. “And grumpy.”  
He chuckled, cupping her face with a gentle touch of his palm. The way he looked at her… A thrill went down her spine. They were in a crowded room packed to the brim with members of every department of the large company he worked for. But when he looked at her like that, it was as though they were alone in a room lit by Christmas lights.   
His thumb stroked over her cheek. “You’re so beautiful tonight. Have I told you that?” His thumb pressed against her mouth. “And so happy. How can you be so happy when…” His face became serious, his thumb stroking slowly along her skin as he considered her. “Bella, do you even have anywhere to go on Christmas Day?”   
Her smile faltered, though only the smallest bit. “No,” she admitted quietly, sitting down.  
He sat in the chair next to her, facing her instead of the table. “But you’re still always happy.”  
She took a deep breath and rested a hand on his knee. “There’s a lot about the whole mental health thing you can’t help. Bad chemicals. You can’t help brain chemistry. And when you suffer trauma, you don’t get to choose what your triggers will be, if you have them.  
“But when I can choose, I try to choose happy.” She smiled, her heart giving a quiet pang. “It’s how I honor my mother. She always chose happy. She gave in to her impulses. She said what was on her mind without a thought about the consequences and danced in public when the mood struck her.”  
She gestured around her. “There’s something magical about the holidays. I still feel that. I think you do too. That’s what makes it so hard; that you can’t share it with your most important person anymore. The lights. The delicious smells. The cheery songs and the promise of friends and family coming together?” She shook her head, her eyes landing on all the things around the room that made the holiday season so wonderful—the women dressed in Santa-red and the men with goofy reindeer ties, the lights, the laughter. She looked back to Edward. “I choose to hold on to the good things it makes me feel. It’s okay if you can’t do that, if that’s not what your trauma allows, but mine does, so I choose to concentrate on the happy.” She ducked her head, a little shy. “And I concentrate on the fact that, one day, I won’t be alone on Christmas. And there’ll be new traditions. New, happy memories. I believe that.”  
Silence fell between them. It wasn’t a bad silence, though there was a degree of heaviness there—the inevitable heaviness that came when either of them spoke of what they’d lost. But there was an intimacy to the silence too. There was connection in the space between them; more words than either had said out loud.  
The music changed from one of the poppier, newer Christmas carols to an instrumental lead in. Edward raised his chin, listening. It was an instrumental version of Let it Snow. He stood and offered her a hand. “Will you dance with me?”  
Surprised, she let him lead her out on to the dance floor. They swayed to an easy rhythm, wrapped in each other’s arms. Bella’s mind supplied the warm, romantic words.   
“Edward,” she asked, leaning her head on his shoulder.   
“Hmm?” He tilted his head so his cheek rested against her hair.  
“If I had a cheese factory in Israel, do you know what I would call it?”  
He sucked in a breath and groaned. “Oh, no.”  
“Cheeses of Nazareth.”  
“Wow.” He chuckled. “Horribly cheesy and a little blasphemous all at once.”  
“Is it really though?”  
He laughed again and pulled back slightly to look at her. “Bella?”  
“Yes?”  
“Will you spend Christmas Day with me?”  
Her heart skipped a beat, and though uncertainty about whether or not she was too much of a hot mess for this whispered in her ear, she chose happy. She grinned. “Yeah. I can do that.”

He grinned back. “Good.”

“Hey, Edward.”

“What?”

“Do you know… Swiss is the most religious cheese. Because it’s holy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Tee hee.  
> Well… contact tracing at my work has sent me home to quarantine until January 5th, so let’s see how much writing I can get done...Make the best out of a frustrating and kinda scary situation.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: No good excuse for yesterday. I may or may not have been bingeing Bridgerton. Hehehe.

**Day 22 - Chardonnay and Mozzarella**

Bella had texted him just before he headed out the door. It was a bad night, she’d said. She was all out of spoons. 

He had no idea what that meant, but after a few carefully worded texts—the last thing he wanted to do was pressure her—he got her permission to come over. He gathered a few things and jogged the few feet over to her stoop. As promised, she’d left the door unlocked.

The light to her room was on. Having prepared himself for the worst, Edward was only slightly startled by the sight that greeted him. 

Bella was in bed, but he’d expected that much. She was resting on her side, legs pulled up to her chest, hands folded beneath her cheek. It was her eyes that caught him. The night before, her eyes had shone and sparkled as they danced. Tonight, they were dull. There were bags under her eyes. He was exhausted just looking at her.

“I don’t think I’m supposed to let you see me like this so early in our relationship.” Her voice was rough. “IYou’re supposed to think my skin naturally looks like it does when I’m made up, and I come with no baggage. I’m supposed to put my best face forward.”

“She said to the guy who snarls and snaps at all things Christmas.” He sat gingerly on the edge of her bed, watching her to make sure she was okay with that. “I like your face.” He put a hand on her side, leaning in. “I brought you some spoons.” 

“You what?”

“Spoons. You said something about being out of spoons. I had a box of the plastic kind. Not environmentally friendly, I know, but sometimes—”

The sound of her laughter cut off his diatribe. She still looked tired, but there was a spark of life in her pretty brown eyes. She pushed herself up on her arms so her face was near his. “Spoon theory is a way of explaining energy for people with chronic illnesses.” She swallowed and shifted, sitting up with her back against the wall. “So, you wake up with a certain amount of spoons every day. On good days, you have a bunch, on bad days, you don’t. And everything costs spoons. Everything. Even small things. So if you wake up with four spoons and it costs four spoons to brush your teeth, you’re done. It’s not laziness; it’s just life with a chronic illness.” She swallowed again, her eyes vulnerable as she searched him. “In my case, depression. Today, I had enough spoons to get through the day but…” She pressed the heel of her hand to one eye. “I didn’t have anything left today. I’m sorry.” 

Edward nodded slowly as he processed. “That makes sense.” He reached out, brushing her hair off her face with a gentle touch. “If I made dinner and you didn’t have to move, would you be up for that?”

Her answering smile was gentle. “I could handle that.”

“Good.” He leaned back and set a glass on her nightstand. “You get busy with the chardonnay of the day, and I’ll handle the rest.”

Some time later, he entered her room again, this time with a pizza box and a few other things. 

“So. I peeked at our cheese of the day. It was jarlsburg. It sounds like you really don’t need a jarlsberg today. And on top of it, the joke today… I’m not going to lie. I didn’t get it. So.” He offered the pizza. “Today you get mozzarella instead.”

“That’s amazing.” She laughed, still sounding tired. “You’re good to me.”

“Well. It’s the yeast I could do.”

Her brows furrowed. “It’s the… What did you say?”

“Because, unlike this pizza… You can’t be topped.” It was a struggle to keep a straight face as he watched her eyes light up again with mirth. “Hey, Bella?”

“Yes, Edward?”

“Do you know why the mushrooms always get invited to pizza parties?”

She shuddered. “Not my pizza parties, but do tell me why.”

“Because they’re such fungis.”

She chuckled.

He sat in the space next to her. “And tomorrow? We’re going to get out there and cheese the day.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: MWAH. Love you all.


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So, the joke I didn’t understand last night was:  
> What do you call a cheese that lives in a church? Stinking bishop.
> 
> I gathered from context clues that stinking bishop must be a cheese (REALLY? Why the heck…). But that made the joke too dumb for me to cope with, and so I rejected it.
> 
> A decent set up is SO EASY. FFS, guys. That’s what makes dumb puns so amazing.
> 
> Oh, and for anyone who cares… Yeah, I did start to get mixed up as to which cheese went with which day. I think I personally stopped caring, and they were the same five kinds, so meh.

**Day 23 - Cheddar and Bordeaux**

Edward Cullen had very nice hands.

Bella sat with her legs thrown over his lap, her arms around his neck, her lips attacking his--in a slow, alluring way, of course--and with his hands up her shirt. Caress. Stroke. Titillate. Tease. He had talented fingers. Despite the cool night air, her skin was flushed and hot. 

It took some seconds for Bella to register that she'd heard a noise other than the sound of his lips moving with hers and the rustle of their clothes. It had been a gasp. And then, she swore she heard a whispered, “Oh, my God.”

Somehow, she managed to tear her lips from Edward’s. She panted, raising her head enough to look over his shoulder. And then, she had to bite the inside of her cheek to keep from groaning. 

Sure enough, there was Jessica Stanley, walking her dog and staring with eyes popped and the wide grin of the neighborhood gossip who had the scoop. She stumbled when her dog pulled at his leash and mouthed “Call me” to Bella before she let the dog lead her away.

Bella closed her eyes, tilting her head as Edward moved his lips to her neck. They’d gotten thoroughly carried away and, while you’d have to be looking very closely to realize what his hands were doing, it probably wasn’t the best place for it. 

She needed the equivalent of a cold shower. 

“So, uh…” She sighed. “So, Edward. Tell me something, err… tell me something about you that would… you know...surprise me.” She cupped his face in her hands.

“Tell you…” He finally lifted his head, clearly processing her words on a several-second delay. “Wait. Tell you what?” 

His cheeks were flushed. His lips were plump, and the way he licked them…

“Tell me!” Bella shook her head to clear it. “Tell me something about you that would surprise me. You know. Since we’re in public.”

He blinked and looked around. “Oh. Oh, right. Uh? I know the descant to a bunch of Christmas carols?”

“The descant?” Bella wasn’t entirely sure what that meant. 

“Hmm.” Edward pursed his lips a beat, then, he began to sing. “‘Neath the silent stars,the town is sleeping,  
Flocks are safe within the fold,  
Secure from danger, want or cold.  
Silent, Silent night.  
Holy, Holy night.  
Sleep in peace,  
Sleep in heavenly peace,  
In Peace.”

He sang in a clear, rich tenor a tune so soft and beautiful it tugged at her heart. It was familiar in a vague way. “Silent Night?” she asked.

He nodded. “I sang that part while the rest of the choir sang it the normal way. I still remember a few of them from my choir days. There’s a fun one for Dashing Through the Snow.”

Bella grinned. “Edward the choir boy.” The man who hated Christmas Carols and yet doubtlessly held harmonies to all of them in his head.

He rubbed a hand up and down her back. “I have a question for you.”

“Hmm?”

“Why the hell are we still out here?”

Her grin widened. “Because we haven’t eaten our cheddar or drunk our Bordeaux as has been our custom the last twenty-three nights.”  
“Well, if that’s all that’s stopping us…” He raised his glass to his lips and started to drink.

She put a hand to his and lowered the glass. She looked him in the eyes, feeling a little foolish, but damn it all. He’d seen her on a bad day. This request should be nothing. “We’re still out here because…” She had to pause and swallow hard. “I want you. I know you know it. But I have this weird idea in my head.”

He raised a hand to cup her cheek. “You can tell me.”

She smiled, heart full and warm with the tenderness she felt for this man. “I want to wait. For Christmas.” She took a steadying breath. “I want my first good Christmas memory in a long time. Tomorrow night. At midnight exactly.”

He studied her a beat, eyes unreadable, and then, he smiled. “The first good memory. I like that.” He leaned in and kissed her sweetly--a chaste kiss. 

Then, he took her firmly by the hips and moved her off his lap so she was sitting next to him. His eyes held hers, so she could see the humor in them. “I do have one favor to ask you though,” he said, tone serious. 

“Oh?”

“I can keep my hands to myself, but I could use a little help. I need you to tell me your worst bad joke. A joke so bad, I’ll have to stop myself from disowning you.”

She snorted. “You want me to turn you off?”

“Just a little.”

“I can’t tell what would be the worst to you. All the jokes I’ve told have been hilarious to anyone with good joke taste.”

He rolled his eyes.

She winked. “Okay. Let’s see. Here’s one for Alice. What kind of cheese do ghosts eat?” She waited a second. “Scream cheese.”

Edward sighed. 

“What kind of cheese protects castles?” Another beat. “Moat-zerella.” When he just stared, she nodded. “Okay. I’m going to have to pull out the big guns tonight. So, a bear walks into a bar and goes up to the barkeep. ‘I’d like a grilled...cheese,’ he says. The bartender says, ‘why the big pause?’ and the bear says, ‘See...I’m a bear.’”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: … Bears have big paws, GET IT?!
> 
> Yeah, I’ll see myself out.


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I hope you guys are doing well, and everyone was safe for New Year’s. Myself, I’m doing mostly okay. As I’ve mentioned, my tiny humanoid creature has been making evenings difficult for some weeks. The first was the WORST for this. But, I think we’re on the way to “resetting” her sleep schedule!
> 
> I am determined to keep up this level of words produced semi-daily. 20,000 words in the month of December. THAT’S HUGE. Think of all the fics I could finish in January if I keep it up!
> 
> Anway. Enough pratling. Let’s get on with this.

**Day 24 - Wensleydale and Brut**

Bella had arrived at his place late Christmas Eve evening dead on her feet. It was a different kind of tired than she had been a few nights before. This was the exhaustion of a woman who worked in retail on Christmas Eve. 

The charcuterie tray he’d put together—fancy cheese, delicious meats, flavorful crackers—as an appetizer did wonders to restore her energy. She sipped the rosé and told him horror stories of frantic gift-givers who insisted the item they wanted wasn’t out of stock; she simply hadn’t scoured “the back” well enough. 

By the time he served dinner, she was much more animated. 

He couldn’t remember if he’d done something like this for a woman before. He considered himself a gentleman, of course. His father had raised him right. He’d gone on the occasional date when he was in college, but they were day-at-the-beach, dinner and a movie type dates. After his father died, he went home with women, but there were no dates.

For Bella, he’d gone all out. He’d cooked quite a bit in his teens, helping out. But he’d never gone this fancy. 

Keeping with their wine and cheese theme, he’d made merlot filet mignon, marsala glazed mushrooms, and au gratin potatoes. It was worth the work. When her face came alive, the last vestiges of exhaustion erased, it took his breath away. 

Over dinner she told him that their neighbor Jessica had shown up on her doorstep at lunch time that day to grill her about their neighborhood romance. The woman, she’d said, was a little invasive and a little shrill, but she was sweet; a true friend. He liked the idea their budding relationship had been the jumping off point of her first friendship here—the beginning of the end of her lonely existence. 

He told her about the call he’d received from Esme. She was trying to come back. With any luck, she and the kids would be back in town by summer, and she wanted them to be a family again. He remembered how great Bella had been with his siblings and hoped she would still be here.

And that was a strange, thrilling thought.

“So it’s that time,” Bella said when they’d pushed away the last of their meal. 

His eyes raised to hers, and she must have seen the heat in his gaze, because her cheeks turned pink.

“Time for the last cheese,” she said, though her voice had gone gravelly. 

“Ah,” he said, and he let his gaze linger, looking her up and down for one, two, three beats before he stood. “I’ll get it.”

He came back to the table with the cheese, the torn window with the final joke, and the Brut from his calendar. Bella took the joke window from him and gave it a hard stare. “Okay, cheese calendar. You have this last chance not to suck.”

“There’s no chance of that,” Edward muttered.

“‘Why should you always carry tortilla chips wherever you go?’” Bella rolled her eyes. “Oh, jeez.”

“Oh, cheese, you mean,” Edward said before he could help it.

Her eyes brightened. “I’m such a bad influence on you.” She shook her head and read the punchline. “You should carry tortilla chips wherever you go in queso emergency.”

Edward buried his head in his hands, shaking it back and forth. “It… it’s over. For the love of everything holy, it’s finally over.”

“Mmhmm.” Bella took a nibble of her cheese and tilted her head, looking at him from beneath hooded eyes. “So. Know any good jokes?”

His lip twitched as he considered. “Oh, I have plenty of jokes, but they’re not very polite.”

“Good thing I’m not very polite.” She leaned in, elbows on the table, and propped her head in her hands. 

“Hmmm. Well, let me think.” He walked his hand across the table until he touched her arm. “I would tell you a penis joke, but I don’t want to sound cocky.”

She cackled and lowered her hand to the table, playing with his fingers.

“I went out with a blind woman once,” he said, keeping his tone conversational. “It only got as far as a handjob. She told me I had the biggest cock she’d ever had her hands on. I told her ‘nah, you’re just pulling my leg.’”

Bella clapped her hands over her mouth, covering her gleeful giggle. He grinned and stood. He crossed to her side of the table and offered a hand to pull her to her feet. She put her hands to his waist and shook her head. “You give me endless amounts of crap for my puns, but you have endless jokes about your cock.”

“Hey.” He leaned in, unable to help himself. He stole a nip of a kiss. “My cock is no joke.”

Her eyes glinted, gone wicked and dark. “Prove it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I assure you, you can survive one fade to black.


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Here we go! 
> 
> Remember, this fic has not been betaed.

**_Christmas Day - Five Years Later  
Bree and Malbac...or Shiraz...Maybe Merlot_ **

That Christmas morning started with an argument. With Edward’s almost-sixteen-year-old brother. Esme, Emmett, and Alice had spent every Christmas Eve night and Christmas Day with them for the last four years. 

But now it was very early on Christmas morning—still nighttime early—and Emmett was in their bedroom door. “You have to get up. Time to see what Santa brought.”

Bella rolled over, pulling the blankets over her head. “Alice doesn’t believe in Santa anymore. We decided not to do Santa. We did all the presents last night. Traditions that happen before sunrise deserve to be abolished.” She rolled back over and glared. “And you’re a teenager. Aren’t you supposed to sleep until noon?”

“Not on Christmas.” Emmett pulled out his ace in the hole. He held out the two-year-old he’d had balanced on his hip and launched her into the bed. 

Some minutes later, Bella and Edward had been lured downstairs. Bella leaned her head against his shoulder, watching the scene with sleepy happiness. Esme and Emmett were in the kitchen making coffee and cinnamon rolls—the Christmas morning tradition Carlisle had started with Edward when it was just the two of them. Alice played with Edward and Bella’s daughter on the living room floor, getting into the piles of presents they hadn’t had a chance to play with in the excitement of the night before. Bella smiled, a sense of total contentment spreading over her.

She’d been alone in the world only five years before. Now, her home was filled with family. Her mantle was littered with holiday cards from friends. 

And she had Edward.

He ward adjusted his arm around her and stroked the swell of her belly. “You know what I was thinking?”

Bella yawned, snuggling closer to him. “Hmm?”

“I was thinking about names for this one.” He cupped her bump with tenderness. “How do you feel about Malbac for a boy or Shiraz for a girl?”

Bella blinked. She raised her head, staring at him. “Say what?”

His smile was innocent. “You’re the one who named our daughter after cheese. I figured it was fitting.”

She poked him in the chest. “First of all, I was on a lot of drugs. Secondly, Bree is a perfectly good name. I spelled it right.”

He grinned. “How about Merlot? Merlot would be good for a boy or a girl, I think.”

“You’re such a nice dad.”

“I’m a good dad. I’ve been practicing all my dadly advice.”

“Oh, yeah? Like what?”

“Like… When you have a disagreement, before you overreact, you should always walk a mile in the other person’s shoes.”

“That is sage advice.”

He nodded solemnly. “Yes. That way, when they realize what’s happened, you’re a mile away and have their shoes.”

**_~The End~_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Even though I didn’t reach my goal of finishing this on Christmas Day, I had such a good time with this story. It was a gift to me to read all your reviews. 
> 
> I hope you had a happy holiday season. May 2021 be the year of many more finished fics for me! Happy new year, my ducks.


End file.
